The holidays this year have given me time to watch a number of films, so here I'll summarize them with single sentence reviews.  Hopefully I will be able to entice you or dissuade you appropriately in each case.

Absolutely Anything: Monty Python aliens grant Simon Pegg ultimate power which he uses to give his dog the voice of Robin Williams, so the mutt can deliver the funniest lines in the movie.
No Escape: An entire nation tries to kill Owen Wilson and his whiny family
The Revenant: Leonardo DiCaprio won't die fast enough for Tom Hardy after natives steal their pelts.
The Drop: Tom Hardy tends a bar, which doubles as a money drop for organized crime, and is about to be robbed.
Legend: Two Tom Hardys struggle to maintain love, power, and sanity as they run the biggest London gang in this true story from the 60's
The Hateful Eight: Wild West "Clue" Tarantino style
Joy: Jennifer Lawrence stands up to extortion, fraud, corporate greed, and a dysfunctional yet utterly dependent family to sell her new mop.
A Walk in the Woods: Robert Redford and Nick Nolte get passed by everyone on the Appalachian Trail while looking for their purpose
Empire State: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson butts heads with Liam Hemsworth over a large sum of money ineptly stolen in this true story

Ratings:
= I enjoyed watching the movie
= I did not enjoy watching the movie

The Big Short: Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, and Steve Carell bet against the american economy, and win.  
The Intern: Robert DeNiro shows a trendy new online retail company that retirees are still useful, even if they don't instagram.  
Bridge of Spies: Tom Hanks does his job as a lawyer defending an alleged spy during the cold war, and suffers for it.  
The Last Witch Hunter: The Witch Queen curses Vin Diesel with immortality, so he spends millenia hunting witches.  

Batman V Superman: An annoyingly crazy Jessie Eisenberg forces Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill to fight while Gal Gadot tries to stop photos of her from spreading, and then a bony Hulk joins this overstuffed yet drawn out movie.  
Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Daisy Ridley and John Boyega join up with Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher to find Mark Hamill before Sith Napolean Dynamite and Sith Gollum destroy the galaxy.  
Love and Mercy: Paul Dano tries to add some depth to Beach Boys music, and grows into John Cusack who falls in love with Elizabeth Banks but can't escape Paul Giamatti's control.  
Deadpool: Ryan Reynolds takes the piss out of Ed Skrein and super hero movies for the love of Morena Baccarin.  
San Andreas: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson chases his family through a natural disaster movie.  
Spectre: Daniel Craig shows us why he doesn't want to do any more Bond movies.  
The Martian: Matt Damon is Castaway on Mars.  
Creed: Michael Jordan (not that one) proves he isn't his father by becoming a pro fighter like his father, under Sylvester Stallone's tutelage.  

Suicide Squad: Will Smith and Margot Robbie headline a mish-mash movie leading a mixed bag of villains shooting a faceless army to a mess of pop melodies.
Star Trek Beyond: A masterful script from Simon Pegg and Doug Jung gives us the best Trek movie since the original Wrath of Khan by letting Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Karl Urban portray a Kirk, Spock, and Bones we care about struggling against the wrath of Idris Elba.
X-Men Apocalypse: Oscar Isaac taps into Michael Fassbender's feelings of betrayal and loss to help cleanse the world of mundane humans.
Central Intelligence: A dorky Dwayne Johnson conscripts an unwilling Kevin Hart in a secret mission over stolen satellite codes that keeps you guessing.  
The Legend of Tarzan: Alexander Skarsgard and Samuel L Jackson fight man and beast to retrieve Margot Robbie from Christoph Waltz, accompanied by flashbacks to Tarzan's youth.
Zombeavers: Bill Burr and breasts (but not enough of either) highlight this b-movie horror about radioactive beavers chowing down on college kids in a lakeside cabin  

I am aware there may need to be some refinement to my thumbs-up / thumbs-down ratings, simply because I'd much rather re-watch Star Wars Force Awakens (thumbs-down) than Zombeavers (thumbs-up).  For what the movies were, coupled with my expectations, that was my experience.  

Arrival: "In war there are no winners, only widows," is the answer to the question you'll be asking at the end of this movie.  
John Wick 2: A little less story and a little more action than the first movie.  I was more emotionally invested in the car to be honest.  
Passengers: We discover two attractive people would hook up if they were the only two people around.  Actually better than I expected
Allied: Did they CGI Brad Pitt's face to make him look younger?  A young looking Brad Pitt and some french lady are WWII spies who find love
Moana: The Rock sings and dances while a young princess tries to return the heart of a goddess.  Oh and Alan Tudyk plays a chicken
Justice League Dark: Shows us how bad Doctor Strange could have been.  Magic is meaningless when you don't know the rules or limits
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back: Jack stays a step ahead of government conspirators but a step behind the women in his life
The Accountant: Ben Affleck is an autistic batman / accountant for criminals, and the focus of some government agency
The Magnificent Seven: Seven notorious people put their lives on the line in this really long gun fight.  Not very enthralling
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Imagine someone cut all the fat from the Netflix series, and added character depth.  
True Memoirs of an International Assassin: Kevin James' best movie.  He's a spy novelist who is confused for his main character
Sully: A hero pilot is the scapegoat for an airline's crashed plane.  Great true story
Doctor Strange: A rich a**hole becomes Earth's defender by learning humility and magic
Snowden: If you aren't covering your laptop camera now, you will after watching this.
Bad Moms: It's animal house for single moms, who teach stuck-up PTA moms how to have fun
Sausage Party: Amazingly better than expected.  Still a typical Seth Rogan movie, but animated
Captain Fantastic: Country Mouse visits City Mouse, and brings his family.  Actually pretty touching film about life's priorities
Ghostbusters: Four female comedians fail to improvise a funny Ghostbusters movie
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates: Two dumb party boys are outsmarted by two party girls
Free State of Jones: Matthew McConaughey helps found the most progressive state in the south at the end of the civil war
The Shallows: Hot chick vs Jaws

Logan: Well crafted bloody swan song - two thumbs up😁😁

No iconic cigar chomping - thumbs down 😣

Beating Diddly in posting a review - priceless 😎

After post edit:

Diddly reminded me that there was a nod to the cigars in one scene but no actually smoking occurred.