Indy's back! This time he's facing the Russians during the cold war, and together they all get mixed in to a hunt for the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
This movie has all the elements I've loved about the prior Indy films, but it does them all poorly. I shall endeavor to describe how, without giving away any of what little plot there is.
Plot: Let's start with that. Previous plots had some depth. There was a desire to find out what happens. This movie, not so much. It's a really simple story with very little to tell. There's nothing to make you wonder, since everything is so completely obvious you know everything long before the characters. Perhaps that explains the pace of the movie. Maybe they thought if they never pause, you mightn't notice the entire movie is just one big chase scene.
Mysteries: My favourite part of the series has always been the puzzles. Piecing together little clues to solve a bigger mystery is great. Especially when the clues are just cryptic enough that you have to believe someone with Indy's experience is required to solve them, but not so cryptic that the viewer is lost. Well, here again we have a couple puzzles, but Indy breezes through them like they were just arrows painted on the floor, with "Go this way!" written in Pig Latin beneath them. Of course, the clues were written in ancient languages dead thousands of years, so we (the viewer) haven't a chance in hell of getting it, until Indy reads them like they were "See Spot Run". I kid you not, he actually said "This language hasn't been spoken in over three thousand years. I might be able to read a bit of it if I put it through a Mayan translation first." Then seconds later: "Aha! It says.." then he rambles on with more detail than he could possibly have "translated" in the few seconds he took to read it.
Fights: Indy is a great hero because even though he gets in a few fights, he's never the best fighter. Except in this movie. Apparently, now that he's an old man, he can out punch big Russian soldiers four at a time. Literally slugging it out toe to toe. That's just wrong. He used to win fist fights with a bit of determination, a bit of smarts, and a lot of luck. Now he's just friggin' batman or something (minus the utility belt).
Action: Indy practically set the standard for an action movie. Sadly, the action in this movie is SO outlandish, I thought I was watching a Bond movie from the 80's.
Humour: The previous movies would use humour like a chef uses basil. Just enough to add flavour. Sadly, this movie gave me only one real laugh. Everything else was so telegraphed, or childish, that it left me just wanting the moment to end.
Consistency: I didn't think this was that big a deal, until everything kept being so damned inconsistent in this movie. I will name an example, it happens in the first ten minutes of the film but bugged me throughout the entire movie. There is a thing that Indy is asked to find, that happens to be hugely magnetic. The magnetic force appears to be strong enough to pull metal objects through the air from hundreds of feet away. Hell, it'll even snatch golden coins from the air. (Gold is not magnetic) But somehow, everyone can stand around with guns and NOT have them sucked out of their hands.
Harrison Ford: The one saving grace to this movie is seeing the master reprise his role. He does his best to give us Indy one more time, even though the story and dialog leave him flat.
Spiellberg has said that they're watching the reaction to this movie to determine if there'll be another one. With the ending this one had, and the quality it lacked, dear god, please don't make a sequel. I am going to try and forget this one and stick with just the trilogy.
|
|
 |
|
Home
Calendar
Search
Register
Login
Print Thread
Report to Moderator
Logged
E-mail
Private message
