I went to a big fancy restaurant last weekend that specializes in junk food and popcorn.  Interestingly, each of the eating areas had all their chairs facing a giant screen upon which pictures were rapidly projected simulating motion.  The typical restaurant music was replaced with a radio drama that seemed to coincide with the pictures.  Neat trick!  I expect someone could take this idea and really produce some exciting, heart tugging, or thought provoking entertainment.  As a proof of concept though, The Green Lantern only hints at the potential.

All seriousness aside, Green Lantern will be in dvd and bluray bargain bins this time next year.

It's not a BAD movie.  It has the requisite hero discovering his powers (he punched three thugs!), a romantic interest (a woman he loves like a sister!), a whiny villain with daddy issues.. oh, I mean, an immortal evil as old as the universe, and a plot to destroy the world.

It's not a GOOD movie either.  The hero also has daddy issues, and overcomes them by being told to buck up.  The romantic interest is literally only there as a damsel in distress and although portrayed as a powerful go-getter, is outshone by Hal Jordan at every opportunity.  And did I mention he said he loves her like a sister?  Now I understand why his brothers treat him like a black sheep.

My biggest problem with the movie is how Green Lantern triumphs over the big bad evil.  Here is a monstrosity that is so powerful that the entire Green Lantern corps (all 3600 of them) are quaking in their green boots.  Hal asks them "Please help me defend Earth!", and they say tough cookies, you're on your own.  So he, through superior human will power (which the corp scoffed at) manages to single-handedly defeat the big bad.  

And why can Hal snatch victory from the certain doom foreseen by the all-powerful ancients which invented the Lantern?  Apparently humans are the only race in all the universe with the ability to conquer their fear.  Wow!

Should you go see The Green Lantern?  If you are a mega fan, maybe.  If you just want to sit somewhere and eat popcorn to flashing lights and sounds, go for it!

The Good: The training Hal goes through on Oa is pretty cool and shows how a ring could be used.  That's pretty much the bread and butter of Green Lantern... making up cool and inventive "constructs" to beat your foe.

The Bad: They couldn't find a fat black woman to play Amanda Waller?  http://collider.com/angela-bassett-to-play-dr-amanda-waller-in-green-lantern/20361/  They had to put a model in a fat suit??

The Ugly: The story.  The hero is plastic.  The girl is inconsequential.  The same can be said for the minor villain, who also makes zero difference to the story.  The entire Green Lantern corps is underutilized and only exists to show the seriousness of the threat.  The resolution is hokey.  I find it difficult to swallow that THAT is all it took to win.

The Downright Unnecessary:"Fitting" Hal Jordan with his new costume.  Surgically implanted energy suit?

In all honesty, the only reason I wrote this review was to create a place to link to this related story by The Onion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRrCIvw8DRQ