Spoiler free review:  Meh

I wasn't going to see it, but after reading your review, it sounds a lot better than I expected!

Well with that review, the miniscule chance I would see it completely disappeared.  The only chance I ever have of watching it is if it comes on TV.. and rest assured TV is not capable of making a ``horror`` movie fulfill its one use (being scary) mainly due to censorship and commercial breaks (hard to build a scary moment when `buy this tampon or baby-food processor or car messages keep popping up every 10-20 minutes).

So, since I will most likely never see the movie and it sounds like you have, please provide spoilers because I`d be interested to know what the unexpected twist(s) or interesting points were that the article I shared with you on Friday were in reference to.

Spoiler Laden Review:


Do not read if you want to remain ignorant of the film.



Really.  Stop now if you haven't seen the film.




Also, you should avoid any trailers.  They give away too much.



Spoilers Begin:
Cabin in the Woods is not your typical horror film, although at the same time, it embodies everything that is bad in typical horror films.  How does it accomplish this?  By being a horror film about horror films.  That is, really, the only truly interesting aspect of the movie.  It is a commentary on the genre.

Like typical horror movies, you've got your Jock, Nerd, Fool, Whore, and Virgin.  They go someplace remote, and something they do angers something evil, and then the slaughter begins.  That is the Cabin in the Woods.  Where Whedon strays from the formula is that his characters have a little more depth than the stereotypes (although not much) and have to be forced into playing the roles.  This, and the whole horror scenario, are engineered by some (literally) underground organization.

You probably gathered that much from the trailers.  Last chance to bail before spoilers.

This underground organization appears to span the globe.  They engineer horror scenarios according to each country's culture.  Why do they do this?  To appease the "Ancient Gods".  Apparently the gods demand a certain formula, and it changes by culture.  But in the good ol' US of A, that formula is the Jock, Nerd, Fool, Whore and Virgin (at a minimum) must be bloodily massacred within certain guidelines.  There has to be a certain amount of nudity, gore, and a rough order to the deaths.

At this point, you should start to realize the gods aren't really gods.  They're a metaphor for something that defines the horror genre.  This is most likely the movie-going audience (although some would argue they're the movie executives, but don't they ultimately answer to the audience as well?)

The problem here is that each of the horror scenarios in each of the countries are failing.  It's up to the Cabin in the Woods to maintain the balance and keep the gods docile.  Of course these meddlesome kids just don't seem to want to die.

As a horror movie, the Cabin in the Woods is predictable and lame.  But then, it was meant to be.  That was the point.  It only shows enough gore and nudity to illustrate the formula.  Don't go expecting to be scared.  You can see the frights coming a mile away.  Again, because it was intentional.

As a commentary on the genre, Cabin in the Woods successfully makes you think about the industry.  Are movie makers engineering their own demise by sticking to the safe formula?  Do the gods tire of the predictable story telling?

At one point I truly expected to see an over-the-shoulder shot of the "heroes" looking at us, the audience in the theatre.  That's how "meta" the movie message gets.

In short, I think Whedon was saying the biz needs a shake-up.  It was an interesting way to convey the message, but for some reason I was expecting more.  Perhaps it's because the trailers all promised "It's not what you think" and yet, it wasn't much more than had been shown.

This is where I begin my rant against trailers.  They've been getting progressively worse by showing more and more of the story.  Really, a lot of the time the entire movie plot is given away by the trailer.  You know the whole story going in, and are just watching to see how it happens, versus how it ends.  I don't want to know how the movie ends before I watch it.  I don't want to know the secrets before the movie reveals them.  Respecting that, this review doesn't reveal anything that the trailers and the first 10 mins of the film don't already establish.  I think it would've been a much better film had I gone in expecting just the cabin in the woods scenario.  End rant.