As I'm sure you all heard, D. Cheney shot a friend in the face while hunting for quail.  Apparently, a large man with a bright orange vest looks a lot like a small feathered bird.  He is fined $7 for failing to have a quail endorsment on his hunting licence.  He blames his friend for getting shot.

Other things Cheney has done:

While filling his lawn tractor with gasoline he accidentally threw 12 molatov cocktails at his neighbours home.   Cheney blames his neighbours for living.

While flying he accidentally carpet bombed brazil.  Cheney Beleives brazil has no reason to be in south america.

While driving he accidentally drove over a pre-school.  That school zone was incorrectly positioned between Cheney's house and his gun club.

Well, I did hear about Cheney shooting his friend in the face, but I have a funny feeling you should check your sources for the rest of those items.  

But honestly, thank goodness he only shot the guy.  If he had done something like, say, receive fellatio, imagine the uproar!

That would cause quite the uproar.. and the amusing headline in the papers could have been "private gives head."  or "Head from private" or "Eye to eye".. or possibley even "private Swallows".  Oh the fun that could have come (heh no pun) from THAT happening..

  The guy who was shot had a heart attack, but still lives.  I bet Cheney was sweating bullets then...   But seriously, if the guy dies what will happen?  Probably nothing.  Surprisingly, Cheney has said nothing about this.

I think he should be charged with man slaughter at the least.  The heart attack may be the ultimate cause of death but the heart attack was likely induced by the panic of being shot in the face by private.

He'd be a popular guy in prison I'd imagine, huh?  Although guys like him get minimum security prisons if they even get that.  Money talks and he gots more than enough to talk his way outta this I'm sure..

I wonder what the guy's wife thinks of D I C K  Cheney now?  I bet she'll wanna go D I C K hunting now that her husband's out of action  

Ahhhhh...  I was wondering why you kept referring to him as "private" Cheney before.  It must be the board was replacing D*ck with Private.  Heh.. that's funny.

So the guy D I C K shot died, did he?

     As far as I know he's still alive... but he is out of action....

Your message board censors words like private?  Odd, when I look at the messages above there is nothing about private this or that (except where you referred to it Diddles).  Must be your message board doesn't care if it warps my mind or something

  When ever a word is bad such as d i c k, but spelt correctly a different word replaces it automatically.

for  d i c k  you get private
for  s h i t  you get mess
for... you get the idea.

I am not lying to you.. the words you typed with spaces are the EXACT same words I see without the spaces.. I must have changed my settings to allow me to see swear words or something...

If you don't beleive me I'll show you next time I come over (or have you over) by logging on with my account (or Diddles, log on as me and read Hawkeye's last message...)

You always manage to manipulate the settings without knowing.

I guess.. I usually take a look at setting when I first log on but I never conscisously remember what I did.. I don't REMEMBER fiddling with the settings in this case but I wouldn't be surprised if I did...
Of course not all of us have the perfect memory that you do Hawkeye... the only things I remember that clearly are articles I've read in car magazines...

....something about showers I beleive  

Oh no I'm sure the memory about the showers has been greatly exagerated in both my mind as well as my multiple tellings of it.  
There were 43 body builders there in addition to 5 elephants, 3 trumpeteers, 2 full bars (with only gin, rye and vodka.. bah.. no scotch.. what kinda bar is THAT!?!?!), the children's choir from some big fancy church in England, 8 maids a milkin, three musketeers and a patridge in a pear tree...
Hmmmm.. now that I re-read that list I guess I've actually begun downplaying it from the reality, haven't I?

Ok guys - if you truly want to know how private felt go here:

http://www.quailhuntingschool.com/flash.php

It will learn you just how Mr. Cheney must have felt when the whole shooting incident took place.

  Nice.

Okay okay, someone sent this to me.. not sure how long the link will still active so if you can watch it, do so ASAP:

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=9561e84d-262a-47db-8718-a14bf974a768&f=06/64

It's always good to laugh at private Cheney!

... unless he has a gun pointed at you I suppose..