Discuss your reasons for voting the way you did on the front page here.

I think Pirates would win because they're just stupid enough to be used as a meat shield, but smart enough to use tactics, swords and guns.
Ninjas are all stealthy and all, but I'm pretty sure they can't dodge bullets and cannon balls that well.
Cavemen are just dumb brutes, and will probably run from the loud noises of guns discharging.
Astronaughts won't last very long.
Chuck Norris is just one guy.  I'm sure he could single handedly take on a ship full of pirates   but not while he's fighting Ninjas and Astronaughts.

Ninjas would win.. no need to explain, they just would.  Besides explaining it would simply take away from the beauty and technique that no witness will ever live to tell the tale.

One hint though... a major contributing move is called "receive bacon" - no one can survive that move... it causes the blood in the recipient's boody to instantly congeal.  It is nasty and painful and tasty all at once!

I agree with Shabs.  Ninjas, would throw throwing stars and attack with swords.  As good as Pirates were with firing muskets, they would really only get one volley before all the others would join in the penultimate orgy of killing.  The only way for Chuck Norris would be if he hid while the others duked it out.  But, Chuck being Chuck I don't think he'd hide.   Perhaps the rest would view him as a threat and therefore gang up on him at the onset of destruction.  Cavemen would run at the first sound of gunfire, like Diddly said.  Astronaughts would slowly hop around and therefore would be shot immediately.

8 votes and 3 comments.. so who is repeat voting?

Me!  I just feel THAT strongly about this important issue!

lol  

I've been shaking my fist at you all this time...  I haven't been able to vote more than twice for Pirates!

No one said democracy is perfect.

Holy crap, Chuck Norris took over second place, replacing pirates as the runnerup... sad sad state of affaires when Chucky is #2 at anything!

Alright, who voted for Astronaughts?  Unless the battle is in space, where they're the only ones who can breath, how could they possibly win?

showing our narrow-mindedness aren't we?

Actually, it was an invitation for someone to come up with a humourous scenario in which Astronaughts would win.

Ok.. humourous situation in which astronaughts could win this battle.. well let's see... I'm assuming both Pirates and cavemen are MEN.. and Chuck Norris, while god-like to some is likely a man as well.. and ninjas.. well needless to say they wouldn't let women amongst their ranks because they are zero tolerance for emotional outbreaks and no woman can shut them off competely.. but we know that you don't have to be a man to be an astronaught... afterall they had that nutbar who drove half way across the states to "be with her true love" who was married to someone else with kids... so clearly the only way astronaughts could win is if they were FEMALE astronaughts who put on a 3 stooges marathon on constant repeat... the result would be the men laughing themselves so long and hard that eventually they would become dehydrated at which point the fem-naughts could talk to them and the men wouldn't have the strength to walk away and/or ignore them.. so as a result Chuck Norris would muster JUST enough remaining strength to incinerate the universe... its not a straight out win, but it is as close as humanly possible for the astronaughts to NOT LOSE...

Or...  how about Zuul from Ghostbusters, in the form of the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man, sees the battle raging between Pirates, Ninjas, Cavemen, Astronaughts and Chuck Norris.  Thinking the astronaughts are like little mini-mellows, it attacks and kills all the other participants.  Except, of course, for Chuck Norris, who died from laughing at the Astronaught's happy dance.

You're both wrong.  The astronaughts, while slow, would attach a large scythe to the canadarm and use that to mow the competition in half.  They would then be the samurai of space, and the canadarm, their huge, gore stained, katana.

In the new vote, I voted Hulk just to piss Hawkeye off.  

I voted terminator... while Hulk could smash any of these baddies but he is not acid-proof and aliens don't travel alone... so he is out of the loop.. and Darth Vader died at the hands of an old man.. sure that old man was the emperor, but still.. I think it all boils down to terminators or aliens because both just keep on producing.. there is only one of all the rest so once they are dead, that's it.. GONE.  And besides EVERY time you kill off a terminator SOMEHOW they find another time machine and send the next latest, greatest Vista-compatible machine through the timeline... (that's my set up to announce Arnie turned DOWN the T4 movie which is due out in 2009 supposedly...)

I voted Vader, since he can just force push Hulk away all the time; slice and dice the slow moving terminator and robocop using his light saber; force choke any of the predators, Aliens, or Willie Nelson.  He's also smart and evil enough to let all the others fight it out and pick off the winner.

Smart? Ok he might get points in a costume design class for his mask, cape, boots, and voice for giving him an "imposing" figure image, but come on, the tadder is pure anger and rage with no focus and that is his downfall.. Quite frankly, I think the Chad Vader created by Aaaron Yonda and Matt Sloan (see You Tube) would have more of a chance in a fight..

Personally, I would vote for the Texan. Ex hippie to ex airforce. Former alcoholic/pot smoker reknown for carrying/using a gun everywhere..he would be a wild card. Itsy tadder would be stuck in a half nelson before he even sense him coming...And in the end Willie would write an awesome song about vader mashing

I think the atari 2600 would be the ruler of that fight.. I mean there was actual wood in its construction, which would smash the plastic construction of the rest.  

lol.   Are you sure?  Comparing the weight of the PS3 with the Atari....  drop that sucker and even wood would shatter.

Shall we test that out next time we're at your place?

Now is the perfect time to do this Hawkeye.. he and Chiquitta are in Montreal to see the Police so you can easily sneak in and run the test... I of course will deny any knowledge of this conversation...

Crap.. Hey Diddles, can you delete the last email I sent from your records - AND DON'T READ IT BEFORE DELETING IT!!!!

Why are you worried... I don't think Diddles can read.  Masturbate yes... but not read

S h i t... hey diddles can you delete MY last message before reading it TOO.  PLEASE.

I think that the new york fries would win that battle.  They are more weighty and stronger than those other.  However, the mcdonalds and burger king fries are smaller and more flexible... hmm it would be quite a battle... but in the end New York fries would win out..

I think New York fries would be the first to go.  They are trans fat free... so without the trans fats, they can't compete with the others.  McDonalds although being beaten repeatedly would keep coming back, because salt is a preservative, and McDonald's fries have lots of that.

Harvey's fries just ain't what they used to be, so they'd lose pretty fast too.  Burger King's fries are super crispy, so they'd snap in two easily.  Chip Wagon fries are too inconsistent, so ultimately would get beaten out.

Arby's has those curly fries..  which look like deep fried pubes, so nobody would back those.  That just leaves Wendy's and Stadium fries.  Stadium fries are big and fat, so they'd squash Wendy's and tada, you have your victor!

I congratulate you on a very suscinct and logical argument.... ya punk.